Relationships Are Messy. Life Is Messy.

 

Messy. Many believe that heaven forbids messiness. I don’t think so. The actual word – messy – falls into the category of swear words – especially if they are talking about messy in relationships.

Hear ye! Hear ye! There is hope for messy, conflict-ridden, or conflict-avoidant relationships in your life. Whether at home or at work messy means that, as human beings, when we try something for the first or second time (like speaking up and saying what clearly needs to be said) mistakes may be made. Feathers may get ruffled. We don’t know what the outcome of a difficult conversation may look like. Expressing what we really think or feel is scary. I’m here to challenge you today. So what? Do it anyway.

In business, there are people. Where there are people, there is relating. Relating means relationships. And with relationships comes messiness. It’s just the way it is.

Instead of whispering behind people’s backs there are times we must go face-to-face with a person around a heated issue at hand. Consider these 5 steps:

  1. Be clean, clear, and current. (Direct and on point.)
  2. Take full responsibility for your part in creating the issue.
  3. Both parties take turns expressing thoughts and feelings until both feel heard and understood.
  4. Commit to wiping the slate clean and having a fresh start.
  5. Decide what action steps need to be taken to move forward

It’s only when we step out of what’s familiar and allow a little disarray that learning and growth begin to happen. The most successful organizations in the world are the ones who work together, play together, and get messy together – feeling the safety and invitation to express themselves fully, with respect. It’s how adults are supposed to relate. Anything else is child’s play. Why are so many top leaders who seem to possess such childish behavior running our nation?

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